Numb

Break me again.
Give me pain.
Maybe if you give a little more
I'll go numb.
No feeling.
No pain.
Numb.
That beautiful feeling of not caring.
Where nothing matters.
It's just me.
Me and my thoughts.
Thoughts that wander back.
Back to you.
To memories
And what we were.
Were.
Past tense.
No longer.
Pain.
Memories bring pain.
More.
Remind me again.
Kisses that meant something.
Hugs that did too.
Memories that hurt.
That give more pain than anything.
All to get me
Numb.
That beautiful feeling of not caring.
Where nothing matters.
But you.
Memories of you.
Whwat we were
What we could be.
What we're not.
What we will be.
The future.
Thoughts of terror.
Fear.
Pain caused by self.
Me.
Just me.
Broken.
Shattered.
But so together still.
That's what it takes to be
Numb.

This isn't a current standing of how I'm feeling, by the way.