Truth or Dare

I've been in love with her for years, but I've only kissed her once. After all, what group of early teenagers doesn't play Truth or Dare at least from time to time? Unfortunately for me though, I started out young when my friends and I began to do stupid things together. For instance, by the time we were 14, almost all of my friends had at least kissed each other, but somehow I was left out of it for even more years. While they were all getting together, I kept to myself. Not that I minded, and it wasn't like I didn't like girls. I did, I do. But I wasn't about to throw out my first kiss on a whim at 12 years old. I'm told frequently that I'm a pansy. But they don't understand. The way I see it, you can call me whatever you like, but I prefer to think of myself as a romantic. It's not about the quantity of girls, but the quality.
The problem with my lack of kissing though is that I always ended up doing more of the dangerous or plain out stupid things more often than not. I got shocked by the dog collar. It was me who had to skinny dip in the half frozen lake. Streaking down the street at dusk became a favorite for my friends to watch me do. I've become pretty accustomed to riding horses bareback at night, and I hate horses. I've drunk so many energy drinks I was practically wasted. In the end, I came out fine from all of these things, with very few and very rare side effects. But then during one of these nights when we were far too bored and playing Truth or Dare for way too long, my life was changed forever.
I don't remember much from that Friday night when I was 16; how much would you be able to remember after being dared to drink four huge energy drinks? But I've been told I did some pretty crazy stupid things that night, including mooning a police officer. I don't recall doing so, but I do remember paying for the consequences a few days later. To be perfectly honest, there's only one thing I do remember from that night.
Kissing Kristen.
I couldn't tell you how they convinced me to do it. I was so out of it by that time, I had no clue what was going on. I don't know how I went about it, or if I thought it was even any good. All I could remember were her distinct thoughts in my head. And me freaking out when I realized what was going on.
Later, everyone played it off as me being drunk and not knowing what was going on. But Kristen knew me better than that. We'd been best friends for so long, she knew something wasn't right.
But there was no way for me to tell her that. And there was no way I was going to let myself kiss her again, even if I was in love with her.